Sapiosexuality Explained As Signs Emerge And More People Start To Identify With It

There is a real chance you could be sapiosexual, and there are a few clear signs that might help you recognize it.

Sexuality exists on a wide spectrum, and there are many identities that people may not come across until later in life. One example is heteroflexibility, a term that has become more commonly discussed in recent years.

Heteroflexibility generally refers to someone who identifies as straight but is open to same-sex experiences under certain circumstances, showing that attraction does not always fit neatly into rigid categories.

Like many forms of attraction, this openness exists on a sliding scale. Some people may simply feel curious, while others may find that their experiences lead them closer to identifying as bisexual.

Another term that often sparks curiosity, and sometimes confusion, is sapiosexuality, which focuses less on appearance and more on the mind.

Sapiosexuals prioritize intellectual connectionsGetty Stock

What is sapiosexuality?

According to Very Well Mind, this describes ‘a type of sexuality that involves being more attracted by the contents of a person’s mind than by the appearance of their body’.

The site further explains: “To feel sexually attracted to another person, a sapiosexual person must first feel intellectually stimulated. Intelligence is often the first quality a person notices in a potential partner.”

Sapiosexuality is not limited by gender or orientation, meaning people of any sexual identity may experience attraction in this way.

A sign of sapiosexuality might be that you prefer more dates where you get really get to know someone betterGetty Stock

Signs of sapiosexuality

One possible sign is a strong enjoyment of deep, thoughtful conversations, especially those that allow both people to express ideas clearly and explore complex topics together.

Another sign may be that physical features like toned abs matter far less to you than whether someone is curious, informed, or enjoys learning.

Even if someone is physically striking, a lack of interest in discussing values, ideas, or personal beliefs may quickly cause attraction to fade for a sapiosexual person.

Date preferences can also offer clues. If you enjoy low-key settings like bookstores, museums, or quiet cafés where conversation takes center stage, that focus on mental connection may reflect sapiosexual tendencies.

These kinds of people are less bothered about someone’s physiqueGetty Stock

What have the experts said about sapiosexuality?

In an interview with the Daily Mail in 2023, psychiatrist and medical educator Dr Ramya Mohan explained that sapiosexuality is still a developing concept.

“[Sapiosexuality] is a relatively new terminology that has broad connotations based on context,” she said. “It is a term that has become more colloquial over the past couple of years or so.”

Dr Mohan added: “It is worth noting that sapiosexuality can be interpreted broadly, encompassing everything from a preferential seeking of intelligence in relationships or partnerships to a driving sexual and almost obsessional need for intelligence in a partner (above all other physical, emotional, gender-based and orientation-based attributes, preferences, and needs).”

Psychologist and sex advisor Barbara Santini of Peaches and Screams has also noted that while sapiosexual individuals often place intelligence first, physical attraction can still play a role in forming and maintaining relationships.