Rowan Baxter, 44, looked like the perfect husband and father to anyone on the outside.
The former New Zealand rugby player and his wife, 31-year-old fitness trainer Hannah Clarke, appeared to have built a picture-perfect life together.
But behind closed doors, their marriage was consumed by abuse, fear, and control.
For 11 years, Hannah endured Rowan’s physical and emotional torment. It wasn’t until their daughter Aaliyah, just six years old, stood up to him that Hannah finally decided to break free.
Sadly, her attempt to escape would end in tragedy.
The darkness begins
Hannah Clarke was only 19 when she met Rowan in 2008.
He was more than a decade older — and still living with his first wife. Although Rowan told Hannah they were separated, that was a lie. The couple married in 2012, while Hannah was pregnant with their first child, and later opened a gym together. When the business struggled, Hannah’s parents had to step in financially.
As time went on, Rowan’s behavior followed the familiar cycle of coercive control.
He dictated what Hannah wore, punished her for jokes at work, and isolated her from friends and family. Rowan’s control over Hannah extended to nearly every aspect of her life. According to Hannah’s parents, he would refer to women as “fat pigs” and even banned his wife from wearing shorts or the color pink.
On social media, though, Hannah painted a very different picture. For their fourth anniversary in 2016, she called Rowan her “best friend” and hashtagged the post “true love.” He replied by describing her as his “partner in crime.”
Behind the smile
Behind the smiles, Rowan demanded sex constantly, giving Hannah the silent treatment for days if she ever refused. Friends said he often spoke to her harshly.
Hannah’s best friend, Nicole Brooks, told an inquest that Baxter once choked his wife and warned her, “You have no idea what I’m capable of.”
Brooks also said Baxter was “abnormally rough” with the children and recalled a Facebook post he shared showing them being placed in an ice bath, with his two-year-old Trey “screaming hysterically.”
“Rowan held him … right up to his neck in there. And Trey was frantic. His eyes were bulging in his head with fear,” Brooks told the inquest.
“And he thought that was funny enough to post.”
The impact on their children — Aaliyah, six, Laianah, four, and Trey, three — convinced Hannah she had to leave.
Aaliyah’s Courage
Aaliyah, born in 2013, was the only one in the household who dared to challenge Rowan. A school friend’s mother, Varvara Meli, later described one incident that became a turning point.
When Rowan came to collect Aaliyah from school, the little girl became upset and asked to use a phone to call her mom.
“She had opened up to my girls during the day that she wasn’t looking forward to the afternoon,” Varvara said. “I didn’t ask, I just gave her the phone.”
