The inaugural season of The Golden Bachelorette wasn’t quite the sensation that predecessor The Golden Bachelor was. But the reasons why it might have made for worse reality TV are the reasons why I loved it: It had a main character of unimpeachable integrity; nary a trace of backstabbing or conflict among the mansion-dwellers; and not even a hint of sex. This was truly the most wholesome thing I have seen on television in ages … and I have watched a lot of kids’ programming in the past few years. The Golden Bachelorette—and the Golden Bachelorette herself, Joan Vassos—was absolutely charming.
My colleague Scott Nover is right that this season was more about bromance than romance; the guys, most over 60 and many of them lonely after divorces and deaths, apparently needed connection outside their kids and families more than they knew. Their delight at finding new friendships in one another seemed to surprise even them. But 61-year-old Joan was just as earnest in her discoveries and her quest: She took her mission to find love deadly seriously from beginning to end. At first, I thought she was playing to the cameras all those times she uttered things along the lines of “I am here to find the second true love of my life.” Turns out she really meant it! She gave each guy a chance. She genuinely endeavored to picture a life with the handful she felt had potential. She spoke openly about her dead husband, John, who was the one and only love of her life, and listened to the men talk about their sorrow, their broken hearts, their fears. Joan set the tone for the guys to open up and establish friendships with one another. She gave a gift to even the ones she had no romantic spark with.
So it wasn’t surprising that Wednesday night’s finale was low on drama. Joan was down to two guys—Chock, the Kansan good guy with the blue eyes, and Guy, the Nevadan good guy with the “perfect” teeth. Her third finalist, French hairdresser Pascal, exited himself in the last full episode (there was a “Men Tell All” episode in between that and the finale), and one has to wonder how things might have played out if he hadn’t crushed Joan with his “I like you as a friend” exit speech. I was surprised Pascal was such a strong contender, but Joan was taken with his Frenchness, his palpable love of living, and his personal story of pulling himself up from nothing. I would not have chosen him for Joan, but, had he stayed, I think there’s a chance she may have gambled on him in the long term, and lost.
Fortunately, this is a show of mature ‘mature’ people, if you know what I mean. They didn’t always follow the formula of the show; they acted like normal adults, dating. Along the way, Joan dismissed widower Mark, a handsome, quiet dark horse who seemed to pull ahead briefly, only to be sent home by Joan early—not even in a rose ceremony—because she felt he wasn’t emotionally ready for a real commitment. Pascal left early because he didn’t want to lead Joan on. And Joan had a heart to heart with fan favorite, Charles L, making it clear she loved having him in the house, and also that there weren’t any real sparks between them.
And in the finale, Joan cut off Guy just before he was supposed to meet her family. She realized the day before, on her family visit with Chock and during their date after, that she had really fallen in love. And rather than further get Guy’s hopes up by parading him around to her kids and having another date—this time in Bora Bora!—she ended things. Her rejection of Guy wasn’t a surprise—I never had a full sense of Guy as I did Chock, and Pascal was always Chock’s real competition—but her decision not even to see it through to the end with him was. But again, Joan did the right thing.
Chock did propose to Joan, and she did say yes. And now ABC is sending their families to Disney World together. Cute! There is no wedding date, which is a good thing; and I hope if they make it, it is not televised. We don’t know exactly where they are going to live—she’s from Maryland, he’s from Kansas. But in the finale, as Chock was fully professing his love and intentions to Joan, he gave her a heart-shaped lock with keys, and told her they should start looking at apartments in New York City. Apparently, this was a shared dream of both of theirs! What a characteristically pragmatic choice for both of them: a love nest in the big Apple where they can be alone, get to know each other, see new things, start a life of their very own. Given my almost 30 years in the city, I can’t recommend setting up here long term—why not look upstate, guys?—but given both Joan and Chock’s level-headedness and sincerity, I have faith they’ll find their way.
There is a lot going on in the world, and we all deserve a break. If your heart needs warming, this is the show for you (all the episodes are available on Hulu). You might just fall in love with it.
